So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just invented taco cereal.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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