Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
