Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I can text with my tongue
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
