I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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