THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
