I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
