first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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