whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize