He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
