i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
