Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
