this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
