I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Randomize
