yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
