I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize