break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
