I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
