i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
...so i touched it.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
