Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize