we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
