I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
