The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
