This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
