Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
