please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
