she smelled like a LAN party
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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