Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
