and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
