I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
