How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
