we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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