from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
