Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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