i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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