The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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