oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
