She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
