He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
