You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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