Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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