fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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