You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize