I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
