You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
