So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
