Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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