no, he came in my armpit
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
