That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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