as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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