I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
