You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
