also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
