No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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