Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Randomize