ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
