I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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