Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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