The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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