mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
