hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
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