Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You're like the curious george of whores
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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