I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
