Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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