He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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