you guys were way drunker than both of me
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
