I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I lost the right to judge tonight
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
