It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize