So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
