Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
